Author: Mari Walker

A few years ago, I wrote a Faith Story called Reflections on a Life where I talked about the cliché “a smile goes a long way” and how a smile can bring joy even when we don’t realize it. I also mentioned the importance of telling someone when there is something you like about them, no matter how small or unimportant it may seem. I can’t say I practice this all the time, but a recent experience when I did this with a complete stranger reminded me to do it more often.

There I was, sitting in the Social Security Office waiting on my name to be called. Waiting and waiting! When you’ve waited long enough for your cell phone battery to say it’s time to shut off Words with Friends, the only thing to do is people watch. I was near the front door with a good view of everyone walking in. A “young-to-me” woman comes in by herself, rolling herself in on a wheelchair. Right away I noticed her smile! It struck me as so pleasant. Here is this woman, in a wheelchair, coming in to the Social Security Office to wait her turn. What could there be to smile about? But there it was. Striking! Beautiful! Noticeable! She checked in to get her number and then rolled around to my row. Since I was sitting on the end of the row, with ample room for a wheelchair next to me, she asked if she could sit next to me. I said, “Of course!” I told her how beautiful her smile was, and how I noticed it immediately when she came in. She thanked me and we chatted a few minutes about the process of waiting and being served at that office. 

Fortunately for her, her number was called and I wished her luck getting in and out quickly. After a short while, her business was concluded and she wheeled back over to me before leaving. She came to thank me for the smile compliment and told me I’d made her day. We hugged. It was a beautiful moment that touched me as much or more than her I am sure. I was about two hours into an eventual four hour wait. That moment provided joy that made the wait so much more bearable. And it provided more moments in the days to come as I remembered Bryan and the lesson of his smile, and as I pondered about connections. In fact, the phrase that kept coming to me was “divinely connected.” We are all divinely connected. This woman I encountered and connected with so beautifully looked different from me, lived under totally different circumstances physically, and who knows how many other differences. But a SMILE is all it took to connect us at a basic human level. And divine connection reaches all the way to heaven. I felt a connection to Bryan through the smile encounter that day too. God is good! He gives us chances to remember we are all His in this kingdom here on Earth and in Heaven. Let us remember and care for one another by connecting even in the smallest of ways like a smile.

Kathy King

Danny Stiles shared these words during the August 2019 Church Council meeting.

It’s important for you to hear how your vision and steps of faith have touched my life. I understand that the God’s Doors Are Open to All Project and Love is Love have perhaps not been an all in venture for the St John’s congregation. Reaching out to welcome those of us who have an un-relatable lifestyle can be uncomfortable. I’m sure as the woman in Luke’s gospel entered the room to anoint Jesus’ feet, those around Jesus may have felt like you. 

But for me the day I saw those doors on the lawn and the message of Love is Love and all are welcomed, my life was forever changed. 

I want to share with you briefly my journey. I have struggled with being gay from a very young age. Not really understanding what it was, just knowing it was something that I had to keep from everyone. I made the perfect victim. Already curious, I was easily groomed and was taken in. I have never blamed the abuse in my life for being gay. However, like countless other gays, I have prayed and prayed for the gay to be taken away.

Knowing that these actions in a small farming town of 1000 people could have adverse effects on my life, they stayed just that hidden. 

Church has always been in my life, and I’m the youngest of five. My mother played piano, was Women’s Missions Director, taught the Ruth Sunday school class, lead the music (it was a progressive Baptist church), and did her turn with youth as my older siblings grew up. Dad was deacon and served as custodian for 50 years. Dad always taught what he called the last promotable men’s class in the church. After his class was Heaven. Third pew from the front piano side was where we always sat.

In my own life I have raised my children in church. Done VBS, church camps, music programs, children’s church. All the while trying to pray it away. I dated many wonderful girls, and my senior year working at a restaurant I met and fell in love with a beautiful blue-eyed city girl. I enlisted, served my country, and we raised four amazing children. You see I did what I was supposed to do. I prayed and stuffed away the feeling, I manned up as you might say. 

Almost eight years ago on February 2, my worst fears came true. I was outed. So the man, husband, father, and grandfather that I had been for so many years was a fraud. Now everyone knew my secret.

I guess to understand the fear you could relate it to dreams of being in public naked. During all of this I have never doubted God’s love for me. I had to go to work and continue to function with all the whispers. I lost so many friends. Then the news quickly reached my local church. I was asked to leave. I found another church to attend. Then in a small town another church was given the news of my life. And I was told “you can come here but not participate.” 

During all of this, I never doubted God’s love for me. Just doubted His people’s love. 

Why is it important for me to be a part of a church? I desire to worship with others. I desire to show the love of God to others who may not have had that third pew on the piano side childhood. I want to share the love of God to those who through the abuse did doubt the love of God. I long so to commune with that God as my authentic self. 

I have identical twin sons. Twelve years of school wasn’t easy. Nobody could tell them apart. Teachers who had them in different class times epically failed. They attended different universities. Meeting up after one of the many freshman parent/kid orientations, Brandon had a monster meltdown. When he finally was calm and could speak he asked, “Do you have any clue what it’s like to have someone look at you and know it’s you?”

That’s what I feel in St John’s as I come and worship. I get to be my authentic self. Because this place understands that Love is Love and all are welcome. 

Danny Stiles